My top ten…from both sides.

Wow… I cannot believe how time can fly and yet also seem to drag at the same time. There must be a word for that? 

This time last year Mike and I were at hospital and the process of an induction to bring Chloe earthside had started. I of course was very anxious. About a multitude of things, and I’m sure Mike will tell you he was too.

The afternoon before heading to hospital Mike and I relaxed, set up the Christmas tree and packed. Okay, let me rephrase that, I packed, Mike procrastinated. And when it was time to leave, he still wasn’t ready, but I had been ready for ages! 

Anyway, that night in hospital I was told to rest and sleep. I had a cup of tea at around 8pm and hoped and prayed that Chloe would surprise us all and come overnight! I spent most of the night worrying and listening to Mike’s snoring! (How do men do that? Just sleep and not worry!)

Alas, nothing happened overnight and by the morning I was sent down to the birthing suite to get things moving. I’ll leave that story there and fast forward to her finally being here. She was delivered by c section after 5pm in the afternoon, I asked over and over, ‘Is she okay? Is she okay?’ I needn’t have bothered, she showed the world right then that her lungs were strong and working properly! (Hasn’t stopped since!)

Since that point (well probably before that) Chloe has turned our lives upside down. Like most babies do! It’s been one busy, stressful and hectic year.

The best and probably the worst year of my life. It sounds crazy to say it, but I think most new mums would agree, adjusting to motherhood is a pretty daunting task, and there are days you’d like to just crawl under the doona and go back to sleep for a week! On top of the regular new mum stuff (though to be honest I really have no understanding of ‘regular’ mum stuff in that sense), we had the extra worries of Chloe’s medical condition. The constant fear of the unknown always hanging around like a massive rain cloud, just teasing us to pour.

I’m not sure it ever did. We have been so unbelievably ‘lucky’ with Chloe. Throughout this last year I have listened and followed stories of other kiddies who went to be with the angels, or who had major complications and long hospital stays, but Chloe, not her. She showed everyone that she’s boss and she’ll do things when she’s good and ready! I have no idea where this stubborn streak comes from.

Over this year I’ve done many things I never thought I would do. One that tops the list is have a baby! Those who know me know what a surprise that one was! 

I’ve spent the last few days, as the 26 November approached, contemplating some of the milestones that have happened this year. 

1. Chloe was born, without drama. No medical intervention was needed, she breathed on her own. 

2. Chloe breastfed like a champion, even though they thought she might burn too many calories feeding.

3. Chloe went into heart failure at Christmas 2012.

4. Chloe was admitted to hospital on the 28 December with failure to thrive/CHF (Congestive Heart Failure). Her first ng tube was inserted.

5.  Chloe had her first heart surgery on the 31st December 2012 (we spent NYE in PICU). On the 1st January she had a few hiccups, but otherwise sailed through and the PA band did exactly what doctors hoped it would.

6.  Two weeks in hospital, we headed home.

7. Chloe was diagnosed with Smith Lemli Optiz Syndrome.

8.  Chloe developed TET spells. 

9. Chloe had her first Cardiac Cath, but bombed out after anaesthetic and was admitted to PICU. 

10. May 16 2013, Chloe had her Glenn surgery. We were home in a week.

There are other countless blood tests, doctors appointments, a few emergency trips to hospital, a couple of admissions that weren’t planned, one ambulance visit…too many echocardiograms to count, or x rays, feeding difficulties… therapy appointments… medications… honestly it’s not worth counting. I don’t want to dwell on these things. And while I am constantly amazed by how far she has come, and I don’t want to forget the obstacles, as they are an important part of her journey and who we are as a family, I like to focus on the amazing milestones…the ones that most parents look forward to! And celebrate.

And one reason I love these milestones is because the doctors are constantly surprised by how much she can do because she is doing far more than expected. 

1. Chloe smiles. She started at about 6 weeks old and hasn’t stopped bar the usual grumpiness or pain from surgery. Pull out a camera, she poses… I love her smile.

2. She holds her head up…rolls over. I was beyond excited when she did this! When she did this in front of the metabolic specialist he was genuinely suprised.

3. She talks… non stop! 

4.  She sees…she follows people. She’s alert and wants to know everything going on!

5. She got teeth! Two bottom teeth!

6.  She crawls. Fast! 

7.  She eats! Months of hard work…. and she eats! (This is a huge one!)

8.  Chloe sits up, gets down from sitting up and is starting to try and pull herself up. 

9.  She’s starting to sign. I’m certain she is trying to do ‘more’ and ‘done’.

10. She’s 1! 

So tomorrow is her first birthday. And like all parents, we celebrate the year that was. It’s been full on. I’ve become adept at many things I never thought I would be. I am a mum. I am a mum to one very special little princess. I cannot wait to see her eyes light up and smile at all the new things she is yet to experience. 

And tomorrow, it’s only fitting that she has a cardiac appointment just to see her birthday in, much in the same way she had an echocardiogram at only an hour old, she’ll have another on her first birthday! I only hope this time she stays on the table long enough to get a good picture of my little heart baby…who is no longer my heart baby but my ‘heart’ toddler….I suspect she’ll be either be itching to ‘help’ with the ultrasound, or pull the ECG cables off along with the SATs monitor… good luck to the doctor and nurse tomorrow! I might bring them a cupcake to wish them luck!